I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
