we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
