new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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