After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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