To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize