everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
