sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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