Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
