the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We left the knife in your bed.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
