Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
