There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
