You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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