it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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