no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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