If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's great music for shaving your balls
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
