So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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