you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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