He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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