I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
