Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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