I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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