i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
love makes seman taste better
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
