Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
