i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
nutella sex= disaster
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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