If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
