me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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