would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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