He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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