Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
