I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
