What a fucking waste of an outfit
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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