6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
