OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
