It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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