I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
