what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I currently don't understand fingers.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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