Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
