Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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