whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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