All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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