the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
