So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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