yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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