He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
