Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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