I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
