thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
