Non-Jews are for practice
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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