Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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