i think my mom watched the whole time
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
