my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
