mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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