you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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