Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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